It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
