I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
no you cant smoke seaweed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
