I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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