uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
