What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize