just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
