i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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