If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
