Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
