why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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