He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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