guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
