I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
