I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
