i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
