I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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