Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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