her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
