Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
