Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
