my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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