What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
