Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
birth control should be required to get into college
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
