Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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