The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it glows. i had to have it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
