Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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