you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
