I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
