Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
