i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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