We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
