we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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