you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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