I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
dude. I can hear the air.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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