My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
