This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
