I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so let's talk penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
