A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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