WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
