Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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