Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
sex in a hospital.. check
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
