Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize