So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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