Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
