I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
