Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
