Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
