i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
