I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
