My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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