You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
