Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
