I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
