Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize