Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
