he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
