I showed him my bush... on skype.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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