Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
