I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
