Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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