You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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