then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
