do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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