I just made out with a guy for $7.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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