yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
