About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
