Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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