One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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