We won't sleep together?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
