This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
