dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
