The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
